Jessie H: Son-of-Man's Diary
2004-12-20 - 11:05 p.m.
Bloody hell I hate Christmas.
I mean, it's so bloody unfair. It's my birthday, right? So why the bloody hell do you all give each other presents, huh? Why not me? I mean: it's *my* birthday so I should get all the presents right?
It's miserable being me at Christmas, I'm telling you. My dad and the holy S. don't believe in material goods: they're immaterial, if you like. So I don't get anything from them.
My mum and little Jimmy give me presents, but I promise you that they'll be a pair of socks and a diary.
Oh but everyone else gets that dvd player, smoothie maker or blockbuster's gift token that they've wanted all year. But me... oh I get bugger all.
So just spare a thought for me this Christmas as you get all those presents... and remember: this isn't how birthdays are supposed to be! I'm supposed to get all the presents!!!!